Today, this post popped up. (take a moment-go peep that ‘ish)

Partner and I are always talking about how to make art be in areas where all can see and interact. This hits it right on.
It also stirred something in me. I kinda want to paint a large wall in chalk paint and write out my own “Before I Die….”

Before I Die...by Candy Chang

Check out Ms.Chang’s website. She is all sorts of dope!!

this really has me thinking about what can be done in my ‘hood…….

soo ask yourself today “Before I Die……..”

My Cio-Pet the fotog

If I could be anywhere right this fucking moment it would be in this picture right above. That is my moco,my cio-pet, my babysister (who aint a baby no-mo’) In Paris, sipping on coffee or chocolate. having nothing on my agenda but walk around and eat. Talking or not talking and mostly laughing.

Home/Work/NYC life has me uber-stressed out.

I am trying hard to keep positive, trying to de-stress. But when you don’t get that stress relief in any aspect-fuck is it frustrating.

how does one de-stress when there is stress everywhere they turn?
how does one handle needs not being met.

ugh-I need to throw myself back into blogging and baking.  and possibly the ‘la.

So back to Paris…..I fucking miss it.

the calmness of life and the passion I saw others embraced in…..it was infectious and got to me. just to come back and be thrown back into the stress of life.

Is it the NYC hustle? Is it me wanting more? Is it the passion of it all that I miss?

only time will tell but for now-I am one bitter squirrel. and we know bitter don’t mix with sweets.

Cole was right-she said that Paris would capture me and I would want to stay. While this has been a delay-I have noticed that more and more I dream of walking in Paris.  The dream always starts off me walking down a busy NYC street and turns into Paris and ends in Barcelona where I am smoking on a balcony and sipping on some red wine. all dolo.

come on NYC!! I gave you so much passion-let me get some back-let me fall in love with you again. all you are doing is disappointing me and I am ready to stop calling you my steady and just call you a friend. so NYC-get in gear and inspire me, capture me, take me……or else I will be say Peace out and say Bojour or Hola to someone new.

here is to not looking back at the most challenging decade yet (lets hope one day I can say it was the most challenging)

today I am 30.
on 12/30.

I wish the night/morning could have started in a different manner-but such is life and you move forward.

In bed watching Depeche Mode’s concert in Barcelona for their Tour of the Universe.  Excited because the best gift my mom ever gave me is en route, my baby (27yr old) sister!

my loving boyfriend scrubbed a griddle for me and gifted me the best label this girl could ever have….FIFA.

honestly it is the worst time to have a birthday. but in a sense that is kinda the story of my life/personality.

never at a oppurtune time.
always a bit difficult.
conquer the challenge and you will for sure have sweetness.

so 12/30-i embrace you.

I am neglecting my boys-so let me return to watching them perform.

30-welcome-so far I like you.

so forgive me…and lets move forward.

last night we were watching TV and saw a Jimmy Dean commercial, you know-the ones where the sun is trying  to get everyone to eat breakfast.

so after rewinding and watching this commercial 2 times, (“did someone call for rain?” gets me every time!)  i pulled up my Singled Out NYC blog, knowing i had posted about these commercials.

the Title of the Post “Must Like: Burgers“   i shows a few commercials, and has a mini list of  qualities i wanted in a mate.

so here is a mini list:

~must like burgers, and willing to share fries

~must enjoy cheesy commercials

~must like naps (i get sleepy after all those burger&fries and laughing from cheesy commercials)

*besos

Lady A

so basically my boo hits all those qualities and more.  for the first few dates i thought he only ate fries by the way, he does not even think twice when i ask him to rewind so we can see the commercial again.

You would think that I would be ready for December to be here. At good ole’ paperlandia, we start talking holidays right after New Years eve (crazy I know)  and we have holiday albums out in September (engraving takes time folks) yet I am in bed, sick, wondering how the heck December is here.

It is World AIDS Day, It is the First day of Hanukkah, and it is my Second sick day.  I am restless, bored, and wishing I had a bit more energy so I could feel productive.

Back in the day I would be at a vigil or helping out with an event. It is soo weird to see how different my life is from just merely 5 years ago. Scary actually.

So, I am in bed, sick watching way too much food related TV, Bourdain marathon anyone? Trying to come up with something witty to say-but I got nada. 

maybe tomorrow I will be charming. doubt it, but maybe.

about 15 years ago I begged my parents for a pair of 12-eye,ox blood red Doc Martens.

15 years later, my gift from my father is this lovely pair of 20-eye grey Doc Martens.

SO for the next 30 days I will attempt to blog. It has been a minute. I am no where near where I thought I would be at 30, but I am exactly where I should be.

so here is to the 15-year-old in me.

ohh and I got a work pair of Doc Martens also (I am lucky) More on those later

Dr. Martens

look at that sexy detail!why am I not a carpenter? is it too late to become one?

Found it while poking around at SwissMiss peep the table here!

Sia always amazes me.Randomly playing music from Grooveshark today, this track was on an old playlist.

obvi I am not in a good mood today, nor was I last night. communication is always key-but frustration lies when nothing is said.
most days I appreciate the deeper thoughts, thoughts outside the box. but when it is needed, I feel it is important to speak from the heart-be honest and let it out.  why am I always the one who has to be ok with things and deal. at some point in life isn’t it ok to NOT be ok with things and that be ok. gut feelings rarely fail me.

7 hours in the shop. a slow day. my mind hurts. my tummy empty-and taste buds turned off-and eyes sting

the phone is home-no real way  to reach the outside world.  so overall it sucks.

kinda wish I could get lost in something.

Right now it is for therapeutic reasons, and to remind myself of the bliss in life and not this damn routine/hustle/grind I got myself in.

So…let me dive in…..via Le Love blog

"but if you could just see the beauty, these things i could never describe. these pleasures a wayward distraction, this is my one lucky prize." --ian curtis

(this one is “lifted” from the one and only Denys!-hope you don’t mind ma)

Sagrada Familia-Barcelona,Espana
The mere fact that it is undone makes it perfect in my eyes.

Twice gets played often-the mellow beat seems to put me at ease, and let me cry.

i want to put a food picture…….but my appetite has been muted so it would be a waste.

what moves you?

7 months ago today I met up with someone who I briefly encountered for about an hour 2 years prior.time stopped. the hours sitting and talking about everything and anything flew-but time was suspended.7 months later we are closer than ever. we are partners-in-crime. we are living together.

so when I realized that we were at month 7 I sat down a bit shocked. were some months taken away? surely it had to be more than 7 months.

but no really-here we are 7 months later-sharing a living space-sharing ideas.

I am kinda floored by it all-excited and nervous (in a good way) all in one.

so happy 7 boo.