real or fake?

for once I am not talking about boobs (real btw)

I love to laugh. I mean who doesn’t? I will be silly-act silly just to get a laugh out of someone. I love seeing others smile. even if they are laughing at me-it’s cool-I like that.

Nothing warms my heart more than acting stupid with my sister,getting into giggle fits with my mom or having on-going corny jokes with dad. My co-workers and I act silly on the regular-it lightens up the stuffy mood of working in the UES, and the P.I.C.- well smiles and laughter are a regular thing.

something came up today in which I realized why I love this so much-avoidance of the “seriousness” of life. It is not that I fully avoid it-but more so that I am so sick of it that I would rather just smile.

There is so much in the world that makes me ponder how humans can be so cruel. there are so many memories that I would rather forget. there are so many grown up things that I hate doing.

So with all this being said-I will clue you into a lil secret of mine.

I fake it.

there I said it.*phew. feels good to get it out.

I fake the smiles and over minutes/hours they turn into genuine ones.
I enjoy making others happy because in turn-it will make me happy to see others happy.

but but but!!!!!

It is when people expect too much out of me that those minutes turn to days before I am happy. over time all that build up leads to an explosion of emotion, which now another person is here to witness.

simple things.

It truly is the simple things that make me smile. Some people have been upset that I am with my current beau. I want to scream to the universe “seriously?! por que?” That negative energy is draining and I have no tolerance for it. I really could care less what they think, but the immaturity of it all-well lets just say that the ghetto comes out. My gut feelings have been right and I will be damned if I get disrespected anymore by any woman/man who think my life is a part of their game. He sits back and is calm-and my fiery temper gets me overheated….so I have been falling back and taking his lead…(but always voicing my opinion because I will be damned if a drama queen wants to rain on my parade)

the simple things as of  late have been cheesy,free and calming.

riding around the city-while my little legs and lungs are out of shape-it is a thrill to see the city on my 2-wheels
sitting on the warm pavement after running through a water sculpture to see the sunset over Jersey-awesome
waking up, after being able to sleep in a bit (yes SLEEP!) and have coffee made for me-soothing

I spent Monday at the beach, Brighton Beach to be exact. It was lovely-amazing-much needed alone time. I floated in the water-people watched-napped and breathed in deeply the smell of the saltwater. I wanted it to get deep in my nostrils. I was shocked to realize-OMG I AM STILL IN BROOKLYN

I realized that I have someone in my life who shares this “put you first” mentality. He will order what I want to eat so we can share it. He plays movies that will make me chuckle….he is a partner who challenges my mind and also lets me speak my mind.

I would hate to be a debbie-downer, so for now I will fake it or just hibernate till the funk passes.(or just head to the beach every chance I get….)

I was given homework today to take those “fake” moments and materialize them…not sure what that means-but I guess if it is open to my interpretation, it could mean “bake a cake”

P.S. I spied the foto above over at Scattered Aesthetics if you are not following them I have no clue what is your issue! they are dopeness from the left coast!!

wwUSAd?

What Would USA Do?

what if someone got shot?
and the person was
male
white
not even 16 years old

what if he was shot by someone not from the USA
but he was on USA soil

what if the person who shot him was
across a border
an adult
a member of law enforcement

how would our country react? would we react?
you fucking bet we would react. there would be a huge HUGE deal made of this.
one of our children being gunned down.

but guess what….

the child gunned down was
Male
Mexican
15 yrs. old

he was killed by a
US Border Patrol Agent
the shot was close range
and while he threw rocks
a bullet hit his head

and you know what? I have been following this story since it occurred (thank goodness for twitter and international news)
It took awhile before US news wrote more than a small paragraph about it.

and the Border is pissed off. now yes I know some of you will sit and be like “why were they at the border Adalhi? are they trying to cross in illegally? they asked for it.”

no one.and I mean NO ONE asks to get shot, especially when they are NOT armed-a rock may fucking hurt but a bruise is nothing compared to LOSING YOUR LIFE.

I am going to link a video to what happened that day. it is in Spanish, but just pay attention. and please watch it.

social work Adalhi is back this week.